What happens when you ignore self-care?

I had big plans…

I had very, very big plans for August 2024.

I was speaking in New Zealand and Australia, giving workshops on writing to two different organizations. I’d never been to either place, so needless to say, I was thrilled.

New Zealand went off without a hitch. I delivered a keynote speech as well as a workshop on plotting (a very abridged version of my plotting course!) and one on creating a marketing strategy. Both were well received.

Then I went to Australia, hoping to take the few days between conferences to sight see a tiny bit.

Then all hell broke loose.

I’d masked up on the airplanes, but not at the conference itself. Within 24 hours in Australia, I quickly discovered that I was a COVID virgin no longer as that virus took me out like getting run over by a bus.

I spent the next seven days isolated in my hotel room. It was so bad I couldn’t even deliver the all-day workshop via Zoom.

I was instead writhing in pain, coughing up a lunch, probably with a fever (I didn’t have a thermometer.) I made it back in one piece, although the effects, mostly the cough, are still lingering a bit.

Force majeure.

The term “force majeure” is often used in contracts. It means an event that cannot possibly be anticipated or controlled, or a superior or irresistible force – often equated with an “act of God.”

So… yeah. I got hit with force majeure. And note the specific bit, here:

Cannot possibly be anticipated or controlled.

Plans, like plots, are going to shift.

It was a very visceral reminder that, no matter how hard you plan, no matter how much you prepare, things are going to smack you that you don’t see coming.

That said, in those weird fever-dream days in the hotel room, I did get some glimpses of how I might’ve mitigated this situation.

Self-care matters.

In July, I was prepping for the workshops, and I was launching the beta of my Rock Your Plot course. I was also trying to make sure my family was prepared for me being gone for two weeks. That, on top of my usual daily schedule, meant I let my self-care routines slip.

“It’s just a month,” I said to myself. Would it really matter if I didn’t, say, meditate? If I didn’t walk on my treadmill? If eating slipped a bit? I’d get back on track when I got back.

Ha. Ha.

Stress is a killer.

I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have gotten COVID if I’d stuck with my routines. I’m not even saying that it’s possible to stick with routines 100% of the time, especially if you’re neurodivergent like I am. But I knew, at the time, that what I was doing wasn’t helpful.

I do think that if I’d taken better care of myself, it wouldn’t have hit me quite so hard. I was already run down, lacking sleep, and not feeling healthy. So while others I knew who also got it at the New Zealand conference were able to weather it with minimal symptoms, I was wrecked.

Slow down to speed up.

I still have big plans. But I am learning I need to incorporate self-care, even if it means not accomplishing as much in a set time period. I’m doing what I can to truly replenish and remind myself: no, I can’t catch up on things like health later… just like if I miss a day of writing, I’m not going to miraculously write twice as much the next day.

I’m also reminded that, especially being neurodivergent, it’s not a matter of if a system is going to fail, but when. The problem isn’t an imperfect system. It’s unfortunately a feature, not a bug. That doesn’t mean overhauling and tossing out all my routines and systems. It just means doing a planned, simple re-boot. Like turning a computer on and off again. Sometimes, that’s all you need to get back on track.

I knew all these things, but still chose to avoid them. It was a hard but needed reminder, reinforcing everything I’ve been casually teaching clients in a very concrete way.